9 Tips on How to Write a Great Sex Scene by Jane S. Morrissey

Posted on Jul 9, 2015 by   7 Comments | Posted in Blog · Uncategorized

Sex scenes. Some of us have a natural talent for writing them. For the rest of us, it’s an awkward struggle. But it doesn’t have to be! Below are nine sexy tips to help you write a really good sex scene.

1.) Use your character’s attributes and experiences to your advantage.

Ever imagined how a seven foot person and a three foot person would have sex? What positions work and what positions don’t? Does your male lead have a tail with a mind of its own? Does your female lead have claws? Don’t be afraid to use any of unique attributes in bedroom gymnastics! 

2.) Establish sexual tension… then raise the stakes.

Love is about taking risks. The best sex scenes happen after a do-or-die situation because the characters become aware of their mortality, and realize life is too short to not fall in the arms of the person you love.

3.) Sex isn’t always flowery and sweet.

In fact, some of the best sex scenes are downright dirty/wet/gross.

4.) Continuity is important.

Terribleminds.com writes, you can’t remove a corset three times in one scene.

5.) Emphasize the physical, but not at the expense of the emotional.

Diana Gabaldon, author of the popular Outlander series, writes: “Where most beginning writers screw up (you should pardon the expression) is in thinking that sex scenes are about sex. A good sex scene is about the exchange of emotions, not bodily fluids. That being so, it can encompass any emotion whatever, from rage or desolation to exultation, tenderness, or surprise.

“Lust is not an emotion; it’s a one-dimensional hormonal response. Ergo, while you can mention lust in a sex-scene, describing it at any great length is like going on about the pattern of the wall-paper in the bedroom. Worth a quick glance, maybe, but essentially boring.” 

6.) Reveal something important about the character.

Make sure to leave an impression in the readers’ minds, an emotional landmark that helps them remember sex scenes. “I remember that sex scene! That’s when you find out Charlie is an orphan!” Exiting a sex scene without revealing something to the reader about the characters is kind of like having a one night stand.

7.) Every sex scene should advance the story.

Inserting random sex scenes to satisfy a sex quota is disconcerting. This isn’t to say that someone should get pregnant after each sex scene, but sex scenes are important for establishing alliances, or breaking alliances, and revealing who is willing to risk what for whom. 

8.) Let the reader choreograph the action.

Being detailed and graphic isn’t always necessary to arouse the reader. Sometimes ambiguous details are more imaginative or telling.

9.) In addition to being sexy, sex is sometimes funny.

Steve Almond writes, “Most of the time, real people say all kinds of weird, funny things during sex, such as, ‘I think I’m losing circulation’ and ‘I’ve got a cramp in my foot’ and ‘Oh, sorry!’ and ‘Did you come already? Goddamn it!’”

Writing a really great sex scene can be nerve-wrecking, but don’t let it phase you. Remember, there is someone out there reading their first romance ever, and their first erotic scene ever, and they’re just as nervous and excited as you are. So just remember to have fun.

Jane Morrissey is a paranormal romance writer who recently launched the first book in the new Quytel Series, CIRCLE OF DREAMS. Jane loves romance, magic, and writing. Her paranormal romantic mysteries will keep you reading late into the night. Jane spends her time writing, enjoying the glorious California Coast near her home and spending as much time as she can with family and friends. To find out more please visit my website and social media:


Website: www.janemorrissey.com

Book trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttA024rO9eY

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Circle of Dreams

Circle of Dreams, first book in the Quytel Series:

Leader of an elite psychic team, Cole Courtland is a shape-shifting wolf with a deep connection to the power of the Earth. His investigation of a string of mysterious murders throws him into the dangerous world of the Quytel and leads him straight to Brianna Doherty’s door. Bri is plagued by vicious nightmares of death and pain that leave her wondering about her own history. When her home is under siege, an enigmatic stranger appears out of nowhere to save her. Thrown together in a tangle of desire and danger, they are pulled deeper into the secretive world of the Quytel, an ancient order charged with maintaining the balance of psychic and paranormal power on earth. Staying one step ahead of those who would destroy them, they struggle to unravel the truth of Bri’s past and her family legacy. As her relationship with Cole grows stronger, the reality of who Bri is threatens to tear them apart.


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