Perks of Being a Villain by Maureen L. Bonatch

Posted on Oct 15, 2015 by   32 Comments | Posted in Blog · Uncategorized
  • A bad hair day is every day

Hop out of bed, and out the door because that’s just the way villains roll. Wild and unruly locks accompany the villain job description.  If the good guy has that long tendril of hair obscuring one of his eyes, the heroine is suspicious of him until he proves he’s not the villain in disguise.

  • But when you look good, you look really good

Who needs charm, daily shaving, or pressed clothes when you’re the bad boy? It’s hard to resist the temptation to partake in what you offer…the forbidden.  A wink of an eye, or a seductive whisper and you’ve got it in the bag.

  • Inappropriate responses are expected

You say what everyone else is thinking but are too polite to say aloud. No waiting until you’re old to lose your filter. No woman will ever ask you, “Do these pants make my butt look big?” They know what you’re going to say, and it’s not going to be nice…because nice guys finish last.

  • Permission to be in a bad mood all the time, in fact, it’s encouraged!

No one asks you why you’re in a bad mood, it’s expected because that’s part of the villain’s personality. Forget the fake, plastered smile and let it all hang out. You wear a smirk like your favorite fashion accessory. Because if you’re nice…well, see below.

  • Being nice just makes people suspicious

Even if you’re having a good day and try to be nice to someone, no one believes you. It’s out of character. They think you’re up to something, or you have an ulterior motive. It’s not even worth being nice unless you’re utilizing this tactic to alleviate boredom by watching them squirm.

  • Females have the advantage

They’ll never see you coming. It’s not natural for a woman to be nasty, so this is your chance to release your inner diva. You might even be able disguise downright rude and nastiness by using the excuse of it being your time of the month, or menopause. If you’re in a group of men throw out vague terminology about female issues and watch them flee.

  • Fluent in sarcasm

You might not be the smartest when it comes to outwitting the hero until the end, unless you challenge him to a battle of wits and sarcastic remarks. It’s why we love you despite your being so darn despicable.

  • You usually get the good lines

Sure, you might die in the end, but your one-liners live on forever. Here are a few you might recognize. Why not share a few of your favorites?

“I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

“Here’s Johnny!”

“Mr. Anderson.”

“Ever Danced with the Devil by the Pale Moonlight?”

“If he dies. He dies.”

Author Bio:

Maureen stories boast laughter, light suspense and something magical in the hope of sharing her love of finding the Maureen Bonatchextraordinary in the ordinary world.  Her latest release is entitled, Grandma Must Die.

She’s a witch hunting a spell. He’s hunting witches and falling for her.

Carman has worn out more towns and last names than impractical shoes protecting the secret of her magic blood. But when a friend goes missing, and another is infected with a deadly spell, Carman must choose. Expose her magic blood by curing the spell—or stop the infection from spreading by killing the source…the grandmother.

Magic bounty hunter Dylan has scoured libraries of banned magic paraphernalia seeking a method to distinguish genuine witches from impersonators. He suspects unorthodox librarian Carman might hold this information tighter than the hair he’s dying to unleash from her bun. With a past as hidden as his sleeve of tattoos, Dylan discovers he’s been used to gain Carman’s trust and their passion risks more than mixing mortals and magic.

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32 Responses to "Perks of Being a Villain by Maureen L. Bonatch"

  1. Comment by Leah St. James
    October 15, 2015 6:36 am

    Oh, too funny, Maureen! I especially love the one on female villains. And “You wear a smirk like your favorite fashion accessory.” 🙂 Thanks for the early-morning chuckle.

  2. Comment by Maureen Bonatch
    October 15, 2015 6:40 am

    Thanks for visiting Leah! Glad I made you smile 🙂

  3. Comment by Diane Burton
    October 15, 2015 8:32 am

    Too funny, Maureen. I’m reading Grandma Must Die and thoroughly enjoying it.

  4. Comment by Maureen Bonatch
    October 15, 2015 8:36 am

    Thank you, Diane! I hope Grandma Must Die keeps you smiling 🙂

  5. Comment by Jana Richards
    October 15, 2015 8:58 am

    I never thought of the villain’s role as being so much fun! Thanks for the laughs.

    • Comment by Maureen Bonatch
      October 15, 2015 9:23 am

      🙂 See…there are really some perks to being bad. lol

  6. Comment by Marissa Garner
    October 15, 2015 9:11 am

    Very, very clever. Made me laugh out loud.

    • Comment by Maureen Bonatch
      October 15, 2015 9:23 am

      Thanks Marissa. My job is done for today if I made you smile 🙂

  7. Comment by K.K. Weil
    October 15, 2015 9:51 am

    These are great! So funny. Thanks for sharing!

  8. Comment by Joan Reidell
    October 15, 2015 10:29 am

    Love the way you put words together! Very entertaining.

  9. Comment by Pamela S Thibodeaux
    October 15, 2015 1:34 pm

    Cute and interesting!
    Good luck and God’s Blessings
    PamT

  10. Comment by Sandra Dailey
    October 15, 2015 1:52 pm

    Great post, Maureen!

  11. Comment by Susan Coryell
    October 15, 2015 2:26 pm

    Being bad is ripe for humor! I also love the idea of witches being viewed in a humorous light. You go, Girl!


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